If you read any blogs at all then this probably isn't new to you, but Scottish "star" Alan Cumming has a new cologne out for men called simply Cumming. Clever. If that wasn't enough, he made the following commercial, which is the most embarassing thing I've ever seen. If you thought the R. Kelly video was amazing, wait till you see this. I dare you not to cringe.

Cumming

Posted by Chad

John Vanderslice is back with a new album, the follow-up to 2004's outstanding "Cellar Door". This one is called "Pixel Revolt" and is being released on August 23 by Barsuk Records. The early reviews are that this is one of the best written pop records of the year and the simple yet beautiful first single, "Trance Manual" lends weight to that statement. Thanks to his official site you can download the single for free below. Also thrown in, is "Pale Horse" from the last album, just because it's awesome. Enjoy.


Trance Manual
Pale Horse

Posted by Chad

As you may or may not know, I appeared on the game show "Ultimate Film Fanatic" this past year. My episodes were taped back in October and premiered on the Independent Film Channel back in February. I had viewing parties to celebrate and those that came over experienced game show tension and entertainment of the highest order. Battling movie nerds of all shape and background, it was a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs that culminated in a head to head showdown refereed by none other than Kid Notorious himself; Robert Evans.



Now, IFC is rerunning the episodes and you have one more chance to catch all the glory. My first episode is the Southwest Regional Finals, where I took on other Los Angelenos for a ticket to the final round. It wasn't going to be easy and I may or may not have won (hint- I did). Tune in and see it all go down. Here are the times (all in Pacific Time)

Friday July 29 7:30pm & 10:30pm
Saturday July 30 4:00pm
Tuesday August 2 7:30pm

Posted by Chad

Field Maloney (is that a real name?) has written an interesting article over at Slate.com that ponders if Owen Wilson was the chief ingredient in making Wes Anderson movies good. I agree with most of it, but found it an interesting read all the way through. Check it out.

Click here to read the article

Posted by Chad

MTV announced the nominees for its 22nd Annual Video Music Awards this week and it is a fairly standard group of picks. Here are the nominees for the categories that I give a damn about.

VIDEO OF THE YEAR

"Speed of Sound" COLDPLAY
Directed by Mark Romanek
"Jesus Walks" KANYE WEST
Directed by Chris Milk
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" GREEN DAY
Directed by Samuel Bayer
"Drop it Like it's Hot" SNOOP DOGG
Directed by Paul Hunter
"Hollaback Girl" GWEN STEFANI
Directed by Paul Hunter



BREAKTHROUGH VIDEO

"Mosh" EMINEM
Directed by Ian Inaba
"World on Fire" SARAH McLACHLAN
Directed by Sophie Muller
"Feel Good Inc." GORILLAZ
Directed by Jamie Hewlitt & Pete Candeland
"Vertigo" U2
Directed by Alex & Martin
"Lose Control" MISSY ELLIOTT
Directed by Dave Meyers & Missy Elliott



BEST DIRECTION IN A VIDEO

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" GREEN DAY
Directed by Samuel Bayer
"Blue Orchid" WHITE STRIPES
Directed by Floria Sigismondi
"Get Right" JENNIFER LOPEZ
Directed by Francis Lawrence & Diane Martel
"Vertigo" U2
Directed by Alex & Martin
"Lose Control" MISSY ELLIOTT
Directed by Dave Meyers & Missy Elliott



BEST EDITING

"Speed of Sound" COLDPLAY
Edited by Adam Pertofsky
"What You Waiting For?" GWEN STEFANI
Edited by Dustin Robertson
"Best of You" FOO FIGHTERS
Edited by Nathan Cox
"Get Right" JENNIFER LOPEZ
Edited by Dustin Robertson
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" GREEN DAY
Edited by Tim Royes
"Untitled" SIMPLE PLAN
Edited by Richard Alarcron



CINEMATOGRAPHY

"Speed of Sound" COLDPLAY
Cinematography by Harris Savides
"Untitled" SIMPLE PLAN
Cinematography by Michael Bernard
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" GREEN DAY
Cinematography by Samuel Bayer
"Vertigo" U2
Cinematography by Omer Ganai
"Ocean Breathes Salty" MODEST MOUSE
Cinematography by Danny Hiele
"Blue Orchid" WHITE STRIPES
Cinematography by Chris Soos



The awards are taking place on Aug. 28 in Miami and will be hosted by P. Diddy.

Posted by Chad

AIM Fight is a website that lets you go head to head with other AIM users to find out who is more popular. They claim to have a mathematical system that searches through every buddy list currently signed on to find out which name appears on more buddy lists or something like that. You can check out the description at the site. The important thing is, I kicked Keegan, Marc, Brendan and Aaron's ass when I tried it.

Fight!

Make sure you check out this weeks episode of "Extreme Dodgeball" on the Game Show Network because my buddy Greg will be competing along with his New York Bling teammates. That's Greg in the black headband there. He may or may not have won $5,000. The only way you'll find out is if you watch.

If you live in LA, head out to Big Wangs off Cahuenga north of Sunset where all the players will be watching on the big screens. 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific.

Posted by Chad

The United States beat Panama 3-1 in a penalty shoot out after playing 150 minutes in a scoreless dead heat. It was a hotly contested battle, with both sides looking the better team at certain points, but in the end, Panama could not convert from the spot.

This was the third time the US has won the Gold Cup after also taking the crown in 1991 and 2002. Once again, it was not broadcast on any American station. Oddly enough, its not because they don't like the non-commercial friendly format, because ESPN2 inexplicably decided to show a friendly soccer match between the US women's team and Iceland today at the same time.

US Men in the Gold Cup final or US Women in a non-competetive match against Iceland? Hmmmm.

Posted by Chad

Q: No one has been able to tell us what kind of dog we have. I am enclosing a sketch of one of his two postures. He only has two. The other one is the same as this except he faces in the opposite direction. - Mrs EUGENIA BLACK

A: I think that what you have is a cast-iron lawn dog. The expressionless eye and the rigid pose are characteristic of metal lawn animals. And that certainly is a cast-iron ear. You could, however, remove all doubt by means of a simple test with a hammer and a cold chisel, or an acetylene torch. If the animal chips, or melts, my diagnosis is correct.




Q: My husband paid a hundred and seventy-five dollars for this moose to a man in Dorset, Ontario, who said he had trapped it in the woods. Something is wrong with his antlers, for we have to keep twisting them back into place all the time. They're loose. - MRS OLIPHANT BEATTY

A: You people are living in a fool's paradise. The animal is obviously a horse with a span of antlers strapped on to his head. If you really want a moose, dispose of the horse; if you want to keep the horse, take the antlers off. Their constant pressure on his ears isn't a good idea.




Q: Our gull cannot get his head down any farther than this, and bumps into things. - H. L. F.

A: You have no ordinary gull to begin with. He looks to me a great deal like a rabbit backing up. If he is a gull, it is impossible to keep him in the house. Naturally he will bump into things. Give him his freedom.


Posted by Aaron

Blah blah blahbetty Lance Armstrong blah blah bleh blah Tour de France blah blah blah blah blegh bleh blah wins blah blah blah blah blah blah again.

Posted by Chad

I was just listening to the song "The Falcon" by Ulysses and I thought I should put it on the blog. I knew very little about Ulysses so I thought I should do some research before I posted to give the impression that I knew quite a bit the whole time. The song is from their debut album which is called .010 and was released last October by Eenie Meenie Records.

The band is made up of four members who met in Lexington, Kentucky, the most notable of which is Robert Schneider (of Apples in Stereo and Marbles fame, not Deuce Bigalow and The Animal fame). That's about all I cared to learn because what I already knew was more important, and that is that this song is good.

The Falcon

Posted by Chad

When submitting my top ten list for the collective top ten I left out two deserving albums -- Because I hadn't heard them yet! Now I can set the record straight. I know Brendan is planning to post a list of albums that each individual thinks should have made it, but I think these two albums deserve a post of their own.




The first album is Be by Common. Amazing. I've liked some of his past work, but this is a big leap forward. The album deals with serious issues without being heavy handed. Common's delivery hits the right marks every time. The production on the album is near perfect without being overly slick. And the guest artists pull their own weight. What's not to like? Below is a link to watch the video for "The Corner". You may have already seen it on MTV, but check it out if you haven't.

The Corner




The second album that I neglected is Man-Made by Teenage Fanclub. I avoided it because I was worried that it would be depressing crap from a band that used to be good. Not so. It's slightly hit and miss, but there's some solid stuff here. Plus this is just the kind of thing that appeals to me. Download "It's All in My Mind", maybe it'll appeal to you too.

It's All in My Mind


-Aaron

The latest Doves album came out in the US on March 1st and little has been heard of or from it since. I don't know what it is about this band that people aren't liking, but I see no reason for them not to be at least as popular as Travis or Grandaddy (both of whom in the grand scheme aren't even that popular). For some reason, they're not though and this album spent two weeks on the top 200 album charts and has been gone ever since. There has been lots of talk about best albums of the year so far and this was definitely going to be on my ballot for most overlooked, but now I'm even going to take it up one notch. This is my number one album of the year so far. That's right, better than Coldplay. I can't encourage you enough to go out and buy it.

Take a look below at the two videos they've released for their singles. The "Black and White Town" one got a lot of talk because it was directed by Lynne Ramsay of "Ratcatcher" fame, and it's a fantastic video. The "Snowden" video isn't nearly as good, but the song is better (perhaps my favorite on the record) and it will give you an almost exact idea of what their show was like when Brendan and I saw them last month.

Snowden Video

Black and White Town Video

Posted by Chad

The United States played a difficult semi-final match against Honduras last night in the CONCACAF Gold Cup. Despite being played in New Jersey, most of the 41,000+ crowd was there to support Honduras. And for the first half it seemed like their support was helping. The United States played dismally and in no way resembled the team that had just a few days earlier been ranked number 6th in the world (an all-time peak for the country).

Mario Ivan Guerrero opened the scoring in the 30th minute for Honduras by driving a short range shot low and past Casey Keller. The US went to the locker rooms at half time 1-0 down and looking rough. And the beginning of the second half only started off worse. In the 59th minute, coach Bruce Arena was ejected for disputing a non-call with one of the linesmen. He was forced to watch the rest of the game on TV and pace nervously, awaiting an embarassing defeat.

In a coincidence he will likely downplay, once Arena was gone, the US came much more alive on the field. Four minutes from the final whistle, the US finally took advantage of all their pressure and John O'Brien slotted home the equaliser. With heavy fatigue, the prospect of playing a 30 minute overtime must have seemed too much of a hassle because in the dying seconds Oguchi Onyewu headed in a cross from Landon Donavon and sealed a spot in Sunday's final for the US.



An unconvincing last gasp win, but a win nonetheless and they will now face off against Panama for the Gold Cup. It sounds like a good game, but I wouldn't know because NO AMERICAN CHANNEL BROADCASTED IT! Come on, America! You broadcast darts and billiards, but not the fucking semi-final of the Gold Cup? If they don't have the game on Sunday, I can always catch it on Telemundo.

Posted by Chad

I read. A lot. The written word is the only drug as titillating to me as the reefers. Thusly, after devouring a book I'm normally left with potential geyser of thoughts that lays rumbling inside like a demon. Every now and then I'll unleash the demon:

NOTE: If you find that, after reading said review, you too which to trapse across the well-worn pages, just drop me a line. I love forcing my tastes onto unsuspecting folks, hence my contributions to this blog.


Today's book: Last of the Donkey Pilgrims by Kevin O'Hara

Back in 1979 a Vietnam vet hippie felt lost. He held American and Irish citizenship (not unlike Hairyass Haritgan) yet didn't feel any real connection with either culture. Leaving his wife back in the states he went to to visit family when he stumbled upon the idea of "dragging an ass around the ring". What followed was a counter-clockwise, year-long trek across Ireland with nothing more than a cart and a lovable donkey named Missy McDermitt.

For the most part the book is a breezy travelogue and love letter to the Ould Sod. O'Hara was a bartender so his writing skills aren't exemplary but it's difficult to not get wrapped up in the atmosphere he inhabits along his way. He doles out tidbits of Irish history succinctly but at times these bits seemed forced. The true gems are the people of Eire, which is really the focus of the book. He tries to implement as much of the history of the land by visiting historic sights but it's difficult to gain a better idea of a country by describing ruins. The book comes alive as night falls on each evening as most of the time Mr. O'Hara has no idea where he'll be sleeping. He plugs along at a pace that averages about 5 miles a day, delighting youngsters and ending up drinking with locals. The tales he's told by the firesides of Ireland are worth their weight in potatoes.

Overall it's a light, enjoyable book that will make you yearn for less hatred- and terror-filled days. O'Hara is embraced by the country and welcomed wherever he goes, leaving the reader with a warm feeling in the pit of the tummy. This may also be from the several pints of Guiness that go exuisitely well with the book. You know what, from now on, when I review a book, I'll also tell you what drink goes best with it, if for no other reason than I'm a raging alcoholic.

Through the glimpses into all that made up the storied past of Ireland, you get a sense of patriotism that isn't so scary. You also get a better idea of the Irish than you would by watching the bad guy from Charlie's Angels II: Full Throttle.

**originally posted by Smizzy Clizzy

17 year old American diver Chelsea Davis hits her face today at the World Swimming Championship in Australia. Kudos to the photographer who was totally on the ball and got this shot.

-Chad

LFO. Nada Surf. Primitive Radio Gods. These three bands have something in common, and it's not that they all rock my Livin' in the 90s CD from Time-Life Records. They all had hits that were infectious enough to bore into the cultural collective for a brief respite during the long, languid days of summer.

Which leads me, inevitably, to ask: what's your summer anthem? It could be that track you can't stop repeating on your iPod for this current vernal timeslot, or just a old favorite, perhaps the song that was playing at sleepaway camp back in the summer of '93 when you kissed a boy (Aaron).

For me and mine, this summer I've rediscovered The Boss. My parents are seeing him 20 rows close this Sunday which makes me insanely jealous, but then again, I do not hold music so dearly as the rest of the authors do.

My summer anthem for 2005: Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen.

What's yours?

By the way: kudos to Brendan "Cauliflower" McFadden for being the first person to ever post a comment about one of my entries. That simple act caused me to change my gay joke above from the Fads to Katz.

**Originally posted by Smizzy Clizzy

For those of you who don't know, OkCupid is the newest project from the people who brought us thespark.com, sparknotes.com, and sparkmatch.com. Those familiar with their previous projects (which have since been, tragically, bought-out and ruined by Barnes and Noble) will recognize the characteristic quirky look of theirs. Those who used sparkmatch will also recognize the format, as it is virtually identical to the short-lived project of five years ago. But whereas sparkmatch consisted only of one match criteria (your score on their archetype test; which, though it has been expanded vastly for OkCupid, is still quite familiar both in form and function ), OkCupid features a half a dozen new staff-created tests (including the only purity test that I've ever enjoyed taking). In addition to these tests, OkCupid features more user-created tests than one could or would ever want to take. Indeed, some of these tests are thinly-veiled excuses for bringing up the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but some are also rather well put together, and most are entertaining.
But what makes OkCupid great (because it certainly isn't the calibre of mate selection available) is the question function. At the time of writing, there are 1,792 questions active in the database, and let me tell you, as someone who just finished every last question, it's a hell of a way to waste some time. All of this input is thoroughly pored over by the OkCupid math-elves, and a rather detailed personality profile (not all of which you are allowed to see, the math-elves have to have some secrets) with which to gauge your matches. The viewable portion of this profile comes in the form of various traits (greedier, kinkier, compassionate, extroverted, etc.), and both your deviation from your demographic as well as anyone you choose to "compare" yourself to (accessible via viewing other people's profiles).

Bottom line: OkCupid is a huge waste of time. Huge. And awesome. In the days of the wild success of such websites as Friendster, the facebook and MySpace, we have here something like it- but infinitely more fun.

-rps

Architecture in Helsinki have a new album called "In Case We Die" that was released back in April and if you haven't heard any of it yet, you are missing out. I was a big fan of their last album "Fingers Crossed" and I'm not sure if I like the new one better or not, but the main point is they are both good.

The band has a shitload of members and is from Australia and just wrapped up a US tour so it might be a while before they come back. In the meantime download and enjoy this single and check out their rad official site.

Maybe You Can Owe Me

posted by Chad

Author's note: This piece was originally intended to be published on another site. They called dibs. They lost.

Food has always been a big part of my life. As a boy I learned the barter system through an intricate series of complex deals involving Teddy Grahams. I learned the nature of worth and the art of negotiation. I turned into MacGyver; getting whatever I wanted with nothing more than celery, raisins, and peanut butter garnished in a glitzy "ants on a log" presentation. Those were heady days indeed. During my formative years I cultivated a staid routine of meals and favorites. I was never adventurous; upon realizing what calamari was I went into a frantic jig. My brother was often scolded for having an extremely small palette but he's carried that quality -- being a "picky eater" -- into his life today. The man knows what he wants and goes after it. That and he still asks for buttered noodles in four-star restaurants.

One afternoon in high school my ilk and I were having a discussion about which meal was the best. Many chose dinner as having achieved the tier of being an event. You don't see any awards show tables littered with eggs benedict. Lunch also had its supporters, namely the jocks. The athletes could formulate concise, persuasive arguments for cold cuts while struggling epically to write an essay on "The A&P" or "Ethan Frome". Everyone agreed breakfast was a great meal, reliable at any time of the day or night. I stayed quiet, unable to commit because nothing set the three squares apart but time. Then Brian, our host and the most adept of us all, spoke. He said that for his money, the best meal was snacks, hands down. Of course, I thought, how could I have been so blind? Everyone has had a less than stellar experience with a dish at one point or another but snacks are a different animal. Brian reminded us of the joy that would fill our young souls when we came home from school and Mom had a snack waiting. The moment of anticipation before opening the pantry on grocery day. The sun dipped lower in the west & the ilk nitpicked over details but for all intents and purposes the argument had been won. Snacks are far superior.

In college my experiences with food became more primal, more carnal. I learned that, as opposed to the rather rigid structure of meals I'd been raised on, all bets and timetables were off. My freshman year I dined at the Waffle House one hundred nights in a row. My father fearfully tested my cholesterol, expecting me dead within the hour. Tuns out I possessed the lowest cholesterol he'd ever seen, thoroughly stumping a medical professional & further proving that I very well may be an X-man. Pizza blossomed in college, expressing its ubiquitous potential as a meal for any time. Gradually, items were selected not for taste but rather how well they complimented whatever alcoholic beverage was being consumed at the time. Thus is the nature of things.

Food continues to be play a major role in my life. I live in Los Angeles, a town that's basically one giant buffet. I still stick to my guns, but occasionally go wild with a new and exciting ethnic dining experience. I'm in the real world now, I'm my own man, and damnit, I'll eat Armenian if I want to. As my consumption horizons broaden, I feel I'm getting more out of life somehow. Besides, if it turns out I do not like Armenian the cupboard next to the sink is consistently filled with all manner of chips, crackers and cookies.

- smokey

There's an interesting event going on over at the Egpytian Theatre on Hollywood Blvd. tomorrow night. It's a preview screening of an independent film called "Duck". Check out the synopsis.

Its the year 2009 and the city of Los Angeles -- along with the rest of the nation (now under the presidential power of Jeb Bush) has lost its parks, its social service programs and its common sense. Philip Baker Hall is a man without social security or a family, who finds himself without a home… but he does have a duck and together they travel the city in search of water and meaning in a decaying world.

I've heard some good things about the movie and while I may not even be going to this event myself, I thought somebody out there might be interested. A Q&A will follow the screening with director Nic Bettauer, Philip Baker Hall, other cast & crew, and the duck. Yeah, that's right. The duck.

More info on the movie
More info on the screening

Posted by Chad

Posted by Chad

Greetings readers,

I'm the hottest, freshest voice in this opera of opinions we like to call the GOGC. My name's Smokey Cloud and like the small, wooden plank from Baskin Robbins, here's a taste of what's to come:

I'm from the south and I like that. I lived the majority of my life in North Carolina and four years ago I spent two weeks on a roadtrip throughout the entire region. It was a majestic journey that opened my eyes to parts of southern culture I had only read about in the first chapters of John Grisham novels. I believe stereotypes exist because they're generally true and my trip further backed up this theory. There are some incredibly racist people in the south. These aren't bad people, they're just beholden of terribly oppressive and narrow minded views. So maybe they are. It's a terrible truth, but it's still a part of life and I grew up all around it.

I live in Los Angeles now and the past two weeks I've attended an amateur stand-up comedy evening at a local watering hole. I have an extensive knowledge of the lives and routines of all the greats, but I'd actually never been to an amateur night. Any substantial viewing of the totp comics reveals that stand-up can be done very well in just about any form. It's a ubiquitous form of entertainment, like the West Coast run-n-gun offense. These comics, however, elected to go the other way with it. It was a room full of Bernie Mac wannabes, each one pining for the shock value of stereotypes and racism. Oddly, the only one who came close to pulling it off was a young white woman who looked twenty minutes away from her own deb ball.

It was sad. By the end of each routine the comic would spout extremely racist comments; not jokes, nothing structured to be funny in any sense, just the gems you normally get from someone named Cooter. The lack of effort is what pissed me off the most. Each one hid behind the same blanket statement claiming that being of their particular ethnicity or gender allowed them to say what they said. Me, I just felt bad for the state of stand-up.

So I guess my review of the amateur stand-up circuit in Los Angeles is this: If you're really pining for an evening of hatred and half-assed jokes, go to any bar holding a stand-up night. If you want to see a man who excels at his craft, Brian Regan will be in town August 11-13.

Movie website Cinema Eye is reporting that due to Robert Altman's poor health and wheelchair confinement, he has enlisted the help of a guest director to talk to his actors. And it's a hell of a choice.

Read the article

If I say this is really depressing, does it make me look like I put too much of my life into browsing MySpace?

In any case, it's really depressing.

Read it and weep

OkGo have a new video floating around the web for a song called "A Million Ways" that looks like it cost about $5 to make. It is getting a lot of buzz on the blogs and has even converted Brendan into a fan. The new album is called "Oh No" and drops August 30. Check out the link below.

A Million Ways

Demonstrations and Marches:

The key point about a demonstration is that it must be seen. Hence the term "demonstration." If a person demonstrates privately in his own home, this is not technically a demonstration but merely "acting silly."

A fine example of a demonstration was the Boston Tea Party, where outraged Americans disguised as Indians dumped British tea into the harbor. Later, Indians disguised as outraged Americans dumped actual British into the harbor. Following that, the British disguised as tea, dumped each other into the harbor. Finally, German mercenaries clad only in costumes from The Trojan Women leapt into the harbor for no apparent reason.


Miscellaneous Methods of Civil Disobedience:

-Tying up traffic by leading a flock of sheep into a shopping area.
-Dressing up as a policeman and skipping.
-Pretending to be an artichoke but punching people as they pass.

It's time for me to set the record straight for everyone. Sugar Ray are awesome. And not in an ironic way. Totally, genuinely awesome. Even their early metal stuff. I know you're thinking, "Come on Chad. You can't really think Sugar Ray is any good aside from listening to 'Every Morning' while driving to the beach and even then feeling a little guilty about it". I say you need more sunshine in your life. A little analysis.

Lemonade and Brownies (1995)



Two years after forming and relentlessly touring Los Angeles, Sugar Ray was signed by Atlantic Records and recorded this debut album. It's totally hard rocking, guitar crunching metal inspired by Rage Against the Machine and Red Hot Chili Peppers with a couple of hints at the band's cheery pop sensibilities that would come out in full force later. And it rules. Check out the tracks "Hold Your Eyes" and "Danzig Needs a Hug" for some early hints at greatness. And also don't forget where the title "Dance Party, U.S.A." came from. This album isn't great, but it's no write off either.

Floored (1997)



This is where the magic really started, and I'm not talking about their first hit "Fly" either. That is one of the weaker tracks on the CD. From the pounding beginning of "RPM" to the last blasts of "Right Direction", this album is a burst of infectuous energy. Great hooks, great riffs and Mark McGrath slowly coming to terms with singing instead of shouting all make this a must for any fan of good music. Definitely check out the Adam & the Ants cover "Stand and Deliver" for a refreshing blast of fun.

14:59 (1999)



Commonly known as the sell out album. Excuse Sugar Ray for being smart enough to realize that people liked their groovy, melodic sound better than their hard rocking metal sound. Both were theirs to begin with and there's still plenty to rock your socks off here. Check out "Glory" and "Aim for Me" if you don't believe me. But what really shines here is the pop. At the time I proclaimed "Every Morning" maybe the greatest song of all time and the years have only seen me back off from that statement slightly. Add "Falls Apart", "Even Though", and "Someday" to the mix and you've got the entire soundtrack to a sunny barbeque on one CD. Rolling Stone even say it has "gorgeous psychedelic guitar hooks and drum loops". I saw Sugar Ray live while they were touring with this album with Orgy and it was a fantastic show. Mark McGrath even stepped into the crowd and gave me a high five. And he deserved it.

Sugar Ray (2001)



And the hits just kept on coming. "When It's Over", "Answer the Phone", "Under the Sun", and that's just the first three tracks. By now Sugar Ray had perfected their breezy sound and had it trademarked. Not a single miss on the entire CD that sees the band dabble in everything from reggae to country. Amazing.

In the Pursuit of Leisure (2003)



This is the album that killed the band and doomed them to playing county fairs for the rest of their career. And it's their own fault for choosing "Mr. Bartender" as the lead single. It's a weak song and shows them experimenting in a genre they could not compete in. If they had gone with "Chasin' You Around", "Heaven", or "Whatever We Are", they might still have a fanbase bigger than me. But, what's done is done. This album is terribly underrated.

Look at what I mean. Their next few shows are:

7/21/05 Jackson County Fair (Central Point, OR)
7/29/05 California Mid-State Fair (Paso Robles, CA)
8/18/05 Konocti Harbor Resort & Spa (Kelseyville, CA)

The list goes on. This is embarrassing. Maybe they should just give it up now that I think about it. But really, they are awesome. The reason I bring all this up is that Sugar Ray has just released a greatest hits CD that debuted at number 131 on the chart. This is not the fate that they deserve. Only one other band has given me as many smiles and good times in my adult life as Sugar Ray has, and I think we all know who that is. But come on people, forget the fact that Mark McGrath now hosts Extra. Forget the fact that their videos were directed by McG. Forget how lame everyone else thinks Sugar Ray is, and admit how awesome they really are.

buy it

Remember those Fruit Rollup commercials where the kids are in the factory inventing stuff? Have you ever wondered what a feature length version of those commercials would be like? If so, you have your answer. It would be a lot like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I cannot fathom why this movie has been getting positive critical notices. After the first thirty minutes, which are standard but fine, it becomes a strong contender for the top five worst and most insulting films I have ever seen.

Though I can't possibly explain how wretched it is, I'll try to sum it up. The script is a meandering wreck that includes visual gags such as Oompa Loompas jamming on guitars, lines like, "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!", and flashbacks that might as well be cued by harp music and Johnny Depp stroking his chin. The aesthetic of the factory, I'm not kidding, really is along the lines of a Fruit Rollup commercial. The computer effects remind me of Spy Kids 3D, without the 3D. To describe the songs as embarrassing is like describing the Civil War as a bummer. Tim Burton's idea of catering to adults as well as kids involves seeing a giant candy bar standing on end while the music from 2001 plays. The racial characterization of the Oompa Loompas is alarming at best (which I realize comes from the book, but it's still alarming).

And at the center of this disaster is Johnny Depp's performance. For one thing it is absolutely inexplicable, but what makes it awful is that it is without heart. The only good thing in sight is Freddie Highmore, who plays Charlie. Somehow he manages to be genuine, human, and insightful in the midst of a movie that is otherwise totally devoid of those qualities.

I cannot express how much I hate this film. Upon leaving the theater I was shocked and angry. Angry. And why I say that it may be worse than Cat in the Hat is that at least Cat in the Hat is bad in an empty juvenile way. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is bad in a much deeper way. It's not just empty crap, but rather filled to the brim with the worst kind of ideas. It's filled with the kind of stuff that not only makes a bad film, but degrades mainstream cinema in general. The most depressing thing about it is that all this comes not from hacks, but from people with talent -- and with the endorsement of critics. Words can't capture the terrible feeling this film gave me. See it for yourself if you dare.

-Aaron


**Thanks to Ben Stambler for pointing out the similarity to Fruit Rollup commercials.**

Not very timely, but a nice sentiment.

Get Your War On, by David Rees, is a political comic featuring shitty clip-art which, in a way both totally like and unlike the Daily Show, makes a joke out of actual news of the US military and government, as well as terrorists, foreign nations, Saddam Hussein, and Kurds.


Those Krazy Kurds!

Rees has been doing this since shortly after September 11th, 2001, and slowly but surely the focus has changed first from terrorism and Afghanistan, to Iraq and WMD's, to India and Pakistan; and is now fairly general in scope. Of particular interest is the comic which features the story of the oil rig 'Decepticon' and the human rights violating Dick Cheney, but, honestly, they are all pretty awesome.

Dilbert Resistant to 20 Meters
Dick Cheney and The Man Who Rapes Women- With A Gun (Tastes Like Robot Sweat)
Lost Comic from the 80's
Confederated Islamospooky

Relevant Links:
Interview with David Rees
GYWO merch on Amazon.com
the author's homepage (updated after the London bombings!)
Get Your War On Archives

This news article is truly amazing and needs to be read.

Sports Illustrated News

The Village found not to be village after all.

In the course of Netflix-piracy, I have acquired the new centerpiece of my collection- far outstripping even my burned copies of the Office Xmas Special or the complete SportsNight. The Village, the fourth movie from M. Night Shyamalanalakhim, was quite clearly the best movie to feature Bryce Dallas Howard and Joaqin Phoenix in all of 2004.


For emphasis.

Even if this weren't the most genital-retractingly frightening movie I've ever seen, with monsters the likes of which primitive children probably dreamt about, it features a performance from Bryce Dallas Howard that makes you look at blind girls in a whole new and less perverted light. Who could forget the scene where the tear drops on the opposite side of her profile than faces the camera?

I have a bad history of oversummarizing Shyamalan movies (check out my 75% scale synopsis of Unbreakable sometime); but if there is any skepticism or ivory-towering about this movie, let it end here. If nothing else, it's worth watching Adrien Brody flail around retarded.

Relevant links:
The Village (2004)
Bryce Dallas Howard

Aloha is described as an "experiment rock quartet" that has a new album picking up steam in on the internet. It's called "Here Comes Everyone" and it came out last October on Polyvinyl Records. My friend Charlie Dugan gave me the cd last week and it's been slowly taking over my iTunes since. Definitely worth checking out their official site and downloading the free single below. The single is certainly not the best track on the album so seek it out.



Summer Away