How did I get here ridiculously early (almost 4+ hours) and this dude is telling me that not only can I not PAY for an upgrade to business class, but that only middle seats are available. You heard me, MIDDLE SEATS! For 14 frickin hours! This is absurd. This is torture. This will not be tolerated, unless I have no option, which I don't, so I'll eat some more noodles.
I've consumed more sodium in the last 2 1/2 days than I will for the rest of my life.
Now that everything is coming to a close, I find myself having hilariously deep moments such as this... I'll be sitting drinking my "pepsi light" and eating my chili beef noodles and suddenly come upon the revelation... "yes, ah yes, the two things that are vital FOR ME before becoming a parent are Patience and Perspective. I have all the other qualities, but those two I need to develop..."
I mean seriously, that's awesome that I'm realizing that, but this sodium and the depression of spending 14 hours wedged between a chinese guy and an indian guy are making me a little nuts.
I cannot stand other people. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm just tired of travelling and ready to be home. But never before have I realized how well mannered Americans are. Chinese toss massive, I MEAN MASSIVE lugies constantly, Europeans talk too much and are just too socially uninhibited (in a bad way), Indian people smell really really awful, Asian people are always behaving as if on the floor of a stock market and spend too much time touching me and not acknowledging it. (In lines, in subways, in crowds, when it's just me standing at the atm, then suddenly SHIZAM! Asian man creeping over my shoulder, rubbing against me. I get it asian man, you are behind me, I'm aware, very aware. Every time I yawn, I cover my mouth, like a decent person, yet due to the lack of manners elsewhere, I feel as though I'm some dilitant.
I like being the only American. When other Americans, or worse... Canadians, show up on my turf (aka anywhere I may be visiting at the time that is outside the US), I get territorial and offended that they are intruding upon this uncharted region that I am blessing with my authentic and interesting American ways. Besides, the last American I saw had a wierd bierd and when we let them in on our beach volleyball spent the entire time screaming at his girlfriend "SET IT CAITLIN! YES! NICE SPIKE! RIGHT ON! THAT'S YOU!"
Next you hear from me, I'll be on American soil, if I'm not jailed for freaking out on the plane.
P.S. Last night, I shared a dorm with a young girl and a guy, they had met earlier in the day and decided to go get beers. I said to go without me cause I was spent and was just gonna crash out. To aid this, I took a sleeping pill. In the middle of the night I had some seriously steamy dreams, then awoke to hear some whispering. I thought it was like 5am, but who knows, perhaps it twas not. Anyhoo, when I got up in the morning to shower, they were in seperate beds, but the girl was most definately das nuda and exposing a singular breast unknown to her sleeping self.
(for some reason, I'm going to refer to myself in the third person in the next sentence, it will never happen again, ever.) Keegan thinks his room mates did the nasty while he was sleeping.