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Todd Has Everything Taken Care Of... Relax

So this morning I made my way to the bus stop to go to the car hire place. I get on, he says "2 dollars", I take the money out of my pocket, look at it, only a small brass piece, crap... He looks at my change, I look at him, I say "I guess I have to get some change... crap." I get off the bus. Eitherway, the driver was a douche and not very helpful, because as I realized as soon as I de-boarded the bus, in Australia the small brass are TWO DOLLARS, it's the opposite in New Zealand (big is two). Anyhow, I wait 15-20 minutes for the same jerkface to come back and pick me up, here's your two dollars asshat. I then go to my rental place, "Rent-A-Bomb". The first thing the dude says is "Drivers License", I'm like.... uh... yeah, listen... a rational person would have brought that, but nope, I left it in my dorm. He's a nice gentleman and understands the virtue of forgiveness, so he lets me take the car (what a dumb move really) and swear I'll be back. They pull a 1980-something Ford "Falcon" from the back and pop the hood, the mechanic checks it in 10 seconds flat, cigarette hanging from his mouth, the other guy tosses some trash from the drivers seat into a bin. She's ready for ya! I get in, the ashtray is filled with cigarette butts... I mean... of course it is... obviously... like most rental cars. Anyways, I go to BUNK (my hostel), grab my stuff and head back to the rental place, again proving my mind boggling skill to instantly know my way around foreign places like nobody's biz. I give him my id, he takes down the details. I'm off. I quickly name my Ford Falcon "Todd" and me and Todd head off to reap hell upon the world in front of us. We head about an hour to "Surfer's Paradise". The swell is next to nothing, it is obvious already that there will be no surfing today. This is a road trip, not a surfing road trip. Perhaps it worked out better in the end, I got to cover more ground that if I had surfed. I then head down the gold coast highway to Palm Beach, Miami- wait a second... all the names sound like florida, and ya know what!? They looked like Florida, or Boca Raton, or some crappy beach town. Pretty basic really, I'm sure it's a totally different story when there is world class surfing breaking for miles, but today was not the day, and to be honest, the entire trip... well the towns were a bit shabby. Either way, I then hit Coolangata, a nice beach, very North Carolina-like. There I had a big and expensive breakfast at the beach and enjoyed the view and a strong coffee. Here they only have "Long Blacks", not drip coffee. Basically a "Long Black" is an Americano (espresso and water) doubled. So all the coffee, or Americanos more specifically, put you on your booty. I then made my way a bit further to "Snappers Rock" and "Point Dangerous". Now here there was some surf, slight slight surf, maybe 1 foot to 2 foot at moments. There was some clothing company desperately trying to put on a comp, and everyone knew it was a bit absurd. I thought, hey why not, I'll hop in the water. That was when I was very glad that it was a poor surf day, cause I forgot to borrow a screwdriver (as a had at all the cities before) from the backpackers and attach my fins. A surfboard with no fins is pretty much useless. Anyhow. I decided to drive to Byron Bay, another hour south, where you can view the eastern most point of Australia, emphasized by a lighthouse (Yesssssssssssss). The terrain that followed looked much like the stretch coming from the beaches in Oregon, just before you hit Hillsboro. Lots of rolling green hills and farmland. Different trees pretty much. Oh, and if you were wondering, I'm totally amazing at driving on the wrong side of the car, AND the road. I invented it apparently. Only once did I turn into the wrong lane, scaring the oncoming person shitless. Beyond that, I was a champ, eating gummy worms, drinking soda, trying to fix the broken stereo, all left handed. High five me when you see me next. I was a natural. Anyhow, Byron Bay is very cool, very cute, a great little town. Very Sisters-like, but imagine a beach theme instead of rodeo theme. Cute stores, canon beach-like, but classier. The beach was pretty and the girls were cute and there were a lot fo people my age watching the national Australia cricket game. Cricket = I have no idea what it is, how it's played, any of it. It's a mystery to me. I then made my way all the way back, and Todd continued to get a whopping mileage of somethign like 10 kilometers to the liter, therefore making me spend more than I had spent on the actual hire of the car, on gas ($60). Ridiculous. I finally made it back to BUNK, parked our loyal Todd, gave him a pat, and had a pint of Stella along with my ramen noodles (50c). Now I write to you loving people. Tomorrow, a day of emptiness in the stinky city that is Brisbane. Here's hoping we find some silver lining to this grey cloud of a city. Either way, I will not complain, in two days I'll be tanning with tons of naked chicks, covered in cash and booze in Fiji. That was all lies, except for the Fiji part.
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